Numero uno:
My life is hilarious. It was something I learned a very long time ago. Perhaps it was as early as second grade when I kicked a kid in the balls for making fun of me (I later referred to it as "kicking him down there" to my mother who told me I was wrong, but inside condoned every second of it) or it could have been as late as ninth grade when I went on a date with my childhood crush, which later turned into a long-term relationship. It could have been early or late when I realized this...but nevertheless, it's true.
When you're destined to have unfortunately hilarious things happen to you, you can do one of two things. You can (1) try to hide it, feel embarrassed when others pick on you for it and act defensive in the process or you can (2) embrace every second of it because, the truth of the matter is, your hilarious encounters with large objects conking you in the head and dates with obviously flamboyant boys make other people giggle. In the end, that's all I want. I want you to laugh.
So if that means at my expense, hey, take it. I don't have pride. When you're constantly avoiding basketballs thrown at your head (and I'm not just talking about "that one time in third grade gym class) and stairs (stairs are a big one) you learn that pride can't exist. If you're gonna have pride and be tragically clumsy at the same time, then you can basically say goodbye to ever being happy again. You gotta accept your stupidity. One step at a time.
Basically I'm gonna tell you all my funny stories and you're gonna either laugh or feel embarrassed for me...or both. I don't really care. As long as you're entertained, I'm happy. :D
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